Wednesday, October 1, 2008

THE NUGE (press releases) VS. THE NUGE (good songs)

One picture is Ted Nugent's mugshot
and the other... it's the cover of The Nuge's new album. Is that Governor Mooseburger?

After getting five different press releases about The Nuge's activities and opinions in the month of September alone, I thought I'd compare the amount of press releases he's put out to how many good songs he has.

Let's see: 9/24, a piece about how he and his family are celebrating National Hunting And Fishing Day (a holiday created by president nixon!). I applaud Ted's environmentalism, but I'd question his claim that it is one of the safest recreational activities. Safe for who? Not that sap who was shot in the fact by cheney.

9/22: Ted puts out a press release offering his security services to Paul McCartney who was receiving death threats from religious extremists because of his decision to play rock and roll in Israel. Ted, if we could keep these lunatics at bay by sending NRA dudes into the middle east, don't you think this war would be over by now? Stick to massacring animals that don't have a fighting chance.

9/17: Ted sends his new book to Sarah Palin. Come on, Ted, she's cute and all, but she doesn't read books, she burns them.

9/11: Ted is going to be part of Guitar Hero! They're using his song "Stranglehold"! Awesome! It's one of his good songs. (Was 9/11 the right day to announce this?)

9/8: Ted's kicking off the new season of his TV show.

Five press releases, one about music, and really, it's about a song that is over three decades old. Speaking of music, how many memorable songs does The Nuge really have? Let's see: I'll count the druggy "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" by his former band The Amboy Dukes, even though Ted is anti-drug. "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Stranglehold," no question. I can't listen to "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" without laughing, but it ain't a great song. So, you do the math.

I do respect some things about Ted: he does his thing, and doesn't care about being trendy. He's anti-drug, which is great. And if I were a meat eater, I'd rather eat stuff that I hunted in the wild than factory made foods. On the other hand, clubbing seals is cowardly. He's pro war, yet didn't serve in Vietnam, like many other "hawks." I guess you just have to enjoy the guy, and not take him too seriously. On the other hand, his onstage comments about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton a few months back were absolutely deplorable. I might even say they were "unpatriotic." Nah, just disgusting.

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